The head vs. heart

Everyone comes to their worldview in their own way. For me, I had to come to terms with my belief in God in my head before I bought in with my heart. It took logic, reason, study and mental work for me to decide that everything around me was a miracle, not an accident, and that beauty was more than just a meaningless human invention. Once my mind accepted these things on those grounds, I was moved in my heart. And while I still look at most things through a skeptic’s lens, sometimes a check shows up at your door when you need it most.

In reality, I helped write a song about 6 years ago that made our record label a lot of money. Eventually, a little bit of that money trickles down to the people who actually wrote it. I hadn’t seen a check from our label in 18 months probably, and then one came today. A substantial one (to me).

My mind then argues with my heart. “It’s coincidence. That money was gonna get to you at some point, was just a matter of time.”..

My heart says “But it came this week.. when cars were broken and a storm damaged your house and bills aren’t going away and there was more stress on you than you’d ever experienced. What are the chances?”

Matthew 10:29 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

Now, all my problems aren’t solved, but maybe my problems aren’t really that big. Today I’m gonna let my heart and mind come together as one. I’m gonna believe that there’s a being out there who is the creator of creativity, of beauty, our foundation for the idea of “good”, and who is infinitely more powerful, just and loving than we could ever attempt to grasp. And maybe, just maybe, He truly cares for me.

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One comment

  1. Glad that you’re feeling some relief in that perfectly timed gift from God. I hope you’re continuing to perform and to write. Your talent is also a gift that I (and so many others) enjoy so much! Bless you and your beautiful family. Still a fan, Lori

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